I Made the Decision Today...

So I made the decision today during the end of REAP today at the pizza party. The decision was made when I was called during the party and her parents asked for a final decision: Either come watch her go or stay here... I chose to stay. Like I said before, it's better for me to stay behind and move on from there rather than go there and experience what will be nothing like a goodbye. And Jimithy! I don't regret it at all, I just can't get over the fact that she's physically going...

The word 'Funeral' just felt too eerie for me, therefore I felt something was wrong... there's no regret.

One of my friends asked me if I was okay, because after that phone call I seemed sad. I tried to act like nothing happened but felt my voice shudder a bit when I said it. The truth is, I was sad at that moment. Not because I wasn't going, but because the truth had become final. After 16 years, something that was destined to happen while we prayed it wouldn't... happened. But...

As thoughts prevail through the destined stride,
It's not destiny, but my thoughts that decide...

And they finally have.


Bye!