Fearful...

Continued from last post...
At school, I decided to stay and talk with friends who had English 20IB Commentaries today. One by one, they finished. Basically I was there for two reasons; one was to support them as they prepared to present, and the other was selfish in a way.

The longer I stayed, friends asked me "What are you still doing here? You've been here since morning". I gave them half the truth: "I'm just here to support you guys", the other half of the truth I kept to myself. The thing is, I didn't leave because I had become fearful. Childish even. I had become fearful of the cold... and I was afraid I'd have to endure the suffering again, for the same reason too. So I stayed, fearful in my head. My father called and he picked me up later, and I felt guilty for causing him such trouble. This childish fear, thinking the cold will consume me and I'll have no hope... I had truly let my vision of avoiding the passing of my negative momentums, down. I guess I'm still not ready to be mature yet, or maybe it's another fear...