Roses Macro

This is a completely unedited macro picture I took of a couple of roses when I went to the temple. I would've taken more pictures of flowers, cuz there were TONSS there, but my stupid camera didn't have any memory left. Man it would've been amazing pictures. But oh well, here's the one that got through.

Macro-Crazy

I went macro-crazy one day with my camera and I managed to take an awesome picture of one of my model cars. It's a scale model of the Dodge Viper SRT-10, and it's one of my favorite prized possessions. I edited it with Ulead Photo Express. Felt great to see this as the final product. I have more macro pictures, of plants and flowers. I'll post em up soon.

The Blowing Wind...

The wind hit me in the face
And my hair began to flutter,
While it came with no trace
My body began to stutter.

Stuttering from the chilly wind that blew,
Blowing against me so I couldn't get through.
Through this wind to where I lived in warmth,
So I fought the wind, and moved on forth.

And It felt as if the more that I walked,
The wind blew harder so I would be docked.
So I ignored what the wind had to say
And walked on, knowing it was my only way.

Yet I looked above to see a flag wave
Accepting the wind and becoming its slave.
When it was merely flying in the breeze at start,
The wind had now threatened to rip it apart.

And I glanced down to see it whirling the snow,
Hurling up its might and strengthening its load.
Shivering the ice to create holes and cracks,
So I would slip and fall and away from my track.

Yet I walked on without missing a step,
Against the wind, blowing wherever it crept.
And I walked to the end surpassing what's blown,
Overcoming its might, so I could get home.

Math Project Almost done?... Oh wait!!

I went to school today thinking I was gonna be feeling great to let people know I was almost done my Math IB Project... until I realized I did it wrong! Wow was it irritating to find out that the work and effort I put in was wrong. Lol oh well, atleast I'm not handing in a failing assignment right? So i gotta rearrange everything to make it perfect... ALL oVeR AgaIN. Till then, relax and play video games. Lol yeah I play video games.

G4 Out The Door!

Wow was it relieving when the Group 4 IB Project was finally presented this morning. Our group went first and man was it a load off my head when we finished. One of our group member didn't even show up (he showed up like an hour later...) so we gave him a 2/6 as his mark. Giving him anything higher would mean that he actually contributed more than he actually did. So yeah, felt great to watch other groups too. The group that presented right after ours brought freshly cooked bread which I was going to get up and eat... but I was too relieved and tried to get to my feet. So I didn't eat any bread, which I heard tasted Awesome! After that me and a few friends nerded around in the math room and typed up our Math 30IB project.
Then I spent 4 hours walking around the library and mall with my Awesomely Awesome friend DrSmile. It's never a boring day with that guy, lol so hilarious. Till then, Peace out all you cool people! <---Me cool.

A Book...

There is a book that I hold inside,
That sits on a shelf, just beneath my mind.
And the pages have been torn from this book,
And as they fly by, I manage to take a look
At every detail each page holds,
Just to know these stories have already been told.
Yet these pages have never met a bind,
Only the coils I had created when I was blind;
To an extent where I physically open my eyes
And there seems to be nothing there to see
Except the peaceful emptiness that lies
Beyond my unseeing eyes where I roam free.
The emptiness that is written clearly on the pages,
Which defies natural order of books, and all its stages.
Yet I see the words on the pages so clearly written
And their coils gripped and so firmly bitten.
The solidity of these words on paper as if written on a wall,
Yet so clear it seems there was never a page to begin with at all...
______________________________________________

I havn't made a poem in while, so yeah. Hope you enjoyed and uncovered the secret metaphor that is the focus of this poem. The obvious metaphor is a book... but there is also... something else. Btw, it purposely doesn't flow for a reason... Muhaha

Signature in Britain's Got Talent

This video is just Awesome. Everytime I watch it, it just gets me cheering and laughing. It's Suleman Mirza and Madhu Singh performing their surprise act 'Signature' on Britain's got Talent. Enjoy!

Inspiration...

I've grown tired of explaining to people about my inspiration. They ask me "What's your inspiration?", and I admire them for asking. But it gets tiring on the mouth to explain a huge story. So I've realized to basically give them a short visual and glimmering answer.

My Universal Story of Inspiration behind this Gold Ring
Just show this, worn on my Ring finger... yeah. My Inspiration lies from the stories behind this.

Lol, I think this was a useless post, but oh well. Boredom's rampage.

Slumdog Millionaire...

I just watch the movie Slumdog Millionaire and I gotta say, it's an amazing movie. Plus the soundtrack composed by A.R. Rahman is absolutely BEAUTIFUL. The storyline was bound to perfection and accuracy. Really recommend this movie and ofcourse it's beautiful soundtrack. A.R. Rahman deserves the Golden Globe award he won at LA for his talented composing for this movie.

Brink of Failure...

I'm so done for, for the Group 4 IB project. I've spent the entire day making up suitable numbers and frantically searching up biology facts for the project. And guess what, my group is yet again nowhere to be found. Phone calls and MSN don't mean anything if they don't make contact with the other person. Plus our group's presenting second on Wednesday... I'm seriously feeling like I'm on the brink of failure. But knowing me, I'll manage to pull through and get a decent mark. Until then, freaking out...

Feeling Horrible...

Aw man, I feel horrible right now. Everything is hurting, especially my head and lungs. I think I hallucianated (spelt wrong) a bit and I'm talking like some out of body moody person. <--- One of my friends insisted I'm going crazy. I think it's because I'm just getting really sick right now and I'm seeing hallucianations. Dizzy, in Pain, and Crazy?? Some rest might do me some good. Bye. And as always, have a great life... well, better than what I'm feeling right now.

I think I just saw an elephant in my room...

My Addiction...

Am I addicted to that inescapable scent
That later in life I'll always resent?
The scent that drives addictions insane,
Yet exhausts that sense and end up in disdain.
The misery that aspires from its initial craving,
Which unsaved will cause my early leaving.
The craving satisfied by a simple snuff,
This deadly addiction I have no part of.

Yet I am disposed about the matter I crave,
Which has truly inflicted the way I behave.
This defiant craving which improves my thinking,
Sharpens my thoughts and takes away my aching.
This rapture desire that has become my ecstasy,
Yet only theoretical and more rather fantasy.
Addictions that cannot define what is actuality,
Yet this craving is my desire to sense reality.

This craving that takes me away from trouble,
Grounds my conscious mind so I can be subtle.
A craving that gives me a feeling of birth,
This addiction that brings me back down to Earth,
Yet takes me higher than the heavens above,
Beyond the stars of desire to fulfill my love.
This love, my desire, my uncontrollable crave
To this addiction, which I have become its slave.

Apparently I Won...

Apparently I won that poetry contest we set up. And let me tell you, it didn't go as smoothly and sought out as we planned. It just ended up in us getting as many people to vote, and we got about 20 people. I won by 1 vote against my Awesome friend One Second One Lifetime (has the blog Moment in Time). It felt great afterwards to know that we actually got voters and obviously the Poets. There was O.S.O.L, Billkk, DrSmile, Sam, and me. My poem's in the next post above. Till then, Have a great life! =)

Poetry Contest

Heyloha Everyone. A few friends (3) and I have decided to create our own poetry contest which will be judged by other friends. Hopefully this contest catches on so we can do it more often. The judging will be tomorrow (Friday), and the theme of the poem is Addiction (drugs, love, etc.). So yeah, the poems will be up on our blogs shortly after the contest is done. Till then, have a good life.

Fearful...

Continued from last post...
At school, I decided to stay and talk with friends who had English 20IB Commentaries today. One by one, they finished. Basically I was there for two reasons; one was to support them as they prepared to present, and the other was selfish in a way.

The longer I stayed, friends asked me "What are you still doing here? You've been here since morning". I gave them half the truth: "I'm just here to support you guys", the other half of the truth I kept to myself. The thing is, I didn't leave because I had become fearful. Childish even. I had become fearful of the cold... and I was afraid I'd have to endure the suffering again, for the same reason too. So I stayed, fearful in my head. My father called and he picked me up later, and I felt guilty for causing him such trouble. This childish fear, thinking the cold will consume me and I'll have no hope... I had truly let my vision of avoiding the passing of my negative momentums, down. I guess I'm still not ready to be mature yet, or maybe it's another fear...

Out in the Cold...

I woke up at 9 am, and I had to get ready in less than 20 minutes so I could catch the 9:26 bus that led to school. I was so stupid to have procrastinated, while sleeping, and wake up 26 minutes before my bus came. SO I quickly showered, ate a chip (1 chip), and left my house and locked the door. I had to run about 200 meters on icy sidewak to make it to the bus stop in the freezing cold. My heart was beating vigorously as I tried to control my painful breathing. My lungs were screaming at me to slow down or stop, yet I ignored my vital signs and ran through swirving sidewalks to get to the bus. I was, you could say, determined to catch that bus. I was 3/4 of the way there, and I looked at my watch: 9:25. One minute until the bus departed. I got to the bus stop, which was the first one on the circular road it travelled on. I looked ahead and saw that I had missed the bus by a mere 30 seconds. So determined as I was, I ignored the chilly cold and ran across the street and corner to get to the last bus stop before the circular road ended. If I had missed that bus, I would have to wait 35 minutes for the next one. As I ran, I saw that a bus had passed that stop, and I thought to myself that it was my bus. So I walked towards the stop with skepticism (spelt that wrong) and I was probably 50 meters away from the stop... when the bus I was determined to catch, passed me. If I had ignored my skepticism like I had ignored the cold, I would've made it... yet at this point I felt hopeless and walked towards the first stop. I went inside the bus shelter, and sat there... with my hood covering my face and two layers of gloves protecting my hands. It was no use. The cold finally started to get to me. Every few moments I would look at my watch and end up disappointed. As time went on, the chilly cold attacked me even more. That's when I realized the burdens of the people who face this everyday. Them who have no homes to go to, and no bus to hope for. As I sat there, I began to think how shallow I was to complain about the inflicting cold... for a mere half-hour. So I kept my mind together and calm, but my body I could not control. I kept my concentration on the street corner where I imagined the bus turning heading towards my stop. Yet my body stutered, as it continuosly lost heat. At a point I could not feel my fingers, yet I told myself that this is nothing compared to those who suffer this everyday.

I sensed the people around me looking at me, feeling sympathetic about my state, as I shivered uncontrollably. I sensed that they thought I was a homeless person, and for that moment... I guess I was. Shallow again, but my mind was starting to stuter. The cold kept biting me, and I tried to conserve my heat as efficiently as possible. Placing my cold and numb hands enclosed under my arms. I had come to a point at which I actually thought I would tear up. Yet I held the complaining inside, because the last thing I wanted to do was be selfish and complain about the pain that was only a fragment compared to those who face it permanently. So I sat there, looking at the corner... cold. Then came my rescuer, 35 minutes after, and I relieved myself with the heat provided from the bus ride to school.

Referal

Yet another blog referal of yet another Awesome and Genius friend. He blogs in such an entertaining manner that leaves you with a smile. He is also an amazing writer who has the ability to 'shift worlds' with even the fewest lines. Check it out: The Other Side

Update about 'In Memory'

'In Memory' is the poem that I have been working on tirelessly to improve it so it is more considerate and luminative. So I have adjusted the wording a bit to fit that vision. So check it out.
In Memory (Updated)

Sometimes...

Sometimes I wish I could stop believing the thoughts that don't believe
That the world will manage to contemplate and give me relief...

-I'm just ranting on the Group 4 project and being ditched today.

Ditched...

So I had planned, with my group yesterday, to begin the Group 4 IB project today at school at 12. So I got to school and waited for a few hours. A friend asked me if I wanted to come paintballing with a LOT of friends. I had to refuse because I was waiting for my group to show up and begin the project. A few other friends later asked me where my group was. My response was to gesture to empty air and to myself and say "Here's my group". So basically the group didn't show up, meaning I was apparently ditched. I made phone calls upon phone calls to know where they were, no one picked up. Then I got one call luckily through, and I was told one of them had come earlier but had left soon after... grrr. Another member who had promised to come, didn't... GRRR. Still havn't heard from him. Everyone else was apparently just too lazy to care... GGGGGGRRRRRRRR. Every moment of waiting was building up my anger, and playing with my trust. Yet some of the trust was restored from the support friends provided. Thank you Friends. Don't know what I'd do without you guys.

Apparently the group meeting is re-scheduled for tommorow. Hopefully they show up so I don't have to go on a rampage.

My Words, From The Start of Every Line...

It is the words I've always wanted to say. As I

Let my feeling flow from the start of every line. And
Only you will decipher them. As you
Venture these words, let
Each letter profess my feelings even more. Because

You are the only who will know.
Only you will know each letter, before the words, as I
Unravel my feelings, through every letter, to form my words, for you.

Typical (South?)Asian Parents

Check out this hilarious video that imitates typical (south)Asian parents. Enjoy:

Exams Finito!

Whew, what a relief. Exams finall concluded with the end of the Chemistry 20 Exam, and man was it easy. I'm getting even more confident every second knowing I did REALLY well on that exam. Who knows, maybe even an actual 100%. I enjoyed life afterwards, made the poem "Without You" (which lacked intricacy like "In Memory", and I'm disappointed about that because un-intricate poems lack the ability to 'shift worlds' as I like to call it.) I'll try to improve these poems to fit my 'shifting worlds' vision. Lol, till then Peace out homio Geezy... yo, dawg? <---- Yeah not cool.

Without You...

Without you, how have I lived,

How have I lived without you..

*
I spent the nights with your memories,

The moonlight talks to me about you,

Yet my nights are lonely without you,

My days are unlike days.

A lonely body, a lonely soul,
My eyes remain flooded.

Just come before me now,

For there is no life without you.

*
Without you, how have I lived,

How have I lived without you..

*

My eyes lay unto the road you left by,

In the hope of finding you somewhere by mistake,

I cannot forget the times I talked to you,

Every moment, there are tears in my eyes,

Why should I continue breathing, why should I live,

Since life is becoming so unfaithful, as it created our distance,
Yet you are the only reason for which I lived.

*
Without you, how have I lived,

How have I lived without you ...

Referal

Hey, I would just like to refer a blog my Awesome friend has set up. He blogs about how we should cherish the moments in life we have currently and to hinder the worries of what we don't have. Really deep and thought-out. Check it out: Moment in Time

100%... Or Something Like That...

Alright so, wrote the Math 30 Diploma today and I gotta say, I think I might actually get a 100%... or something like that. The written portion was 3 questions... all of which I had studied in exactitude the night before, so I finish about 20 minutes into the Exam. Then I kept checking it over just to ensure a 100%. Lol, "it's the way I roll... homie G" <---- Me being "cool" in school.
Anyways tomorrow is my Chemistry 20 Exam, thankfully the final one of this semester. I feel confident that I'll get 100%... or something like that. =)

In Memory... (Updated)

It is not about the amount of luck,
Nor is it the lack of it,
That makes us more intrigued about love,
That grows to such an unbreakable limit.

The limit that is untouched by others,
But only ourselves.
We who realize the truths about life,
From the saddening thought of losing it.

We become weary of our own,
From the thought that losing them will make us alone.
And so their lives become entitled to our love...
And become entitled to our hearts.

We become greater initiates of our lives,
When we are faced with the risk of losing them.
The risk, their battle, in which some of them lose,
Yet touch the many hearts, as they do.

This battle, I have been a part of,
Rather She has been attacked by.
The attack that she holds off,
The heartfelt battle she daily defies.

Day and night, it is scarce to hear a silenced attacker,
Yet it makes her unbelievable will to fight, stronger.
And everyday She inspires us with the same answer;
That She will fight it with her Heart, and put an end to cancer.

***

In Memory to those who have lost the battle against cancer,
And in Support to those still fighting it.

Wanna Bet?

It's funny the way people think about the way they bet, and then they think wayyy to hard when they bet with me. Haha, for example: Normal people bet for money or some dare; "I'll bet I'll get 100% on the Math Diploma, and whoever loses pays $10 or asks that girl out"... While my bets (un-normal?) are as follows; "I'll bet I'll get 100% on the Math Diploma, and loser doesn't get 100%"... or... "I bet you'll win this bet". It's surprising and hilarious to watch them thinking hard about what just happened. It messes around with their logic and gives me a reason to laugh. Lol I'm just wierd like that. These are just some of the bets I placed with friends while we were intensely nerding it out in the library.

We made little progress when we started discussing how we could screw over IB Exam markers. IB says that when you make a mistake while writting IB Exams, you're allowed to just put a line through that unwanted error so the marker won't mark that error. Basically it's just crossing out a mistake while writting the exam. The IB markers are taught to ignore what is crossed off. So we decided to mess with them when the IB Exams come. We decided to insult IB or put some random garbage answer and cross it out. For example we decided to write "I F****n hate F****n IB", and then cross it out. The marker can't screw us over for that. Yet we decided that we're all going to write "Why So Serious?" and cross it out. It seems like a hilarious plan, because we'll be writting an essay and right in the middle of a sentence... "Why So Serious?". We're going to try to get more people into this. Till then, hope you enjoyed this (short??) post.

Numbers...

We don't realize it sometimes,
And sometimes we realize it clearly,
That Numbers control our lives,
And they play around with our emotions,
To trick us into losing our minds.

We have scientifically theorized that there is no limit,
That Numbers just cannot end,
Yet we tend to focus on a certain limit,
To push ourselves to reaching it,
Or hold back and call ourselves failures for not doing so.

In education, our most admirable limit is 100,
And anything under it is a failure,
And take that 1 out,
Then it REALLY is a fail,
Yet some of us try so hard to reach that successive limit that,
We tend to fail at defining the importances of Life.

In economics, our most adored limit is of intimidation,
And anything under it is lesser than someone else,
Who now has a more dignified face in the world,
Compared to ourselves,
Yet some of us try so hard to attain those paper values
To an Unreachable limit that,
We tend to fail at defining the values of Life.

We tend to make Numbers our lives,
And values of Numbers over the values of lives,
Because it's not the strong but the Number 1 that survives,
While forgetting the moral values for which we had begun our strives.
The values we imagined of a Good Life,
So that everyone (including us) may live happily Alive.

Think...Limited Progression...

I feel like I think too much and become distracted away from actual progress way too easily. So when it comes to making progress, I can only create (write) it with such a limited amount of words...

How Did I Tell You?

How did I tell you I Love You?
Did I climb to your blacony like Romeo to hear you?
Or wait like Hamlet until you were gone to hear my truth?
Or submit like Othello to impress a crowd rather than you?

No.
It was nothing like the drama's of Shakespeare.
The question is more understandable than his speech.

How did I tell you I Love You?
Did I fight the armies of the Samurai just to short-live it?
Or wait for a fantasy like a Secret to return to it?
Or ask questions through poetry to recieve the answer we already know?

No.
It was nothing like the morals presented by fictions.
The question is more understandable than its long awaits to know the morals.

How did I tell you I Love You then?
How did I tell you?
Did I tell you...
I Love You?

Relieving Day...

Oh What a relief to get through the intensity of such a dire exam which was the English Oral Commentary. I had to talk (for 10 minutes) about the topic that I anticipated (I was cheering when I got it) but I realized that I had suddenly blanked out as soon as I started thinking while under the pressure of time and speech. But I guess everyone felt that too, and anyways it went well. Basically we slacked completely as soon as our commentaries were done, but we tried to study for the Math 30 Diploma coming soon (Haha, didn't go too well). Instead of slacking we tried to study in the library, but ended up discussing stupid jokes to contemplate the weekend. All in all, Life was great today. =)

That One Thing...

It's just so hard to understand That One Thing, whether it's an exam topic (like my problem) or somethin else, in life that gives you the gut feeling that you WILL be questioned on it. I'm trying to understand atleast the basis of a poem, which is a topic on the Exam I write tommorow, so I can be prepared to talk about it. But NOOO... My stupid mind can't understand the comprehension of this One Thing. Everything else is fairly understood, Except for This One Thing. Hopefully my gut feeling is wrong for once...

...That One Thing is so annoying!!!

Tommorow's Exam -Poem...

I pray that I can make sense of the unknown,
And prepare a speech and set it like stone.
So I can finally get the numbers I truly desire,
And leave that state of suspicion that I currently accuire.

Because what I don't need is that growth of tension
From the thought that I lack the dire comprehension
To think and create while under the pressure,
Of forming a speech about the right answer.

Another Down, Plus Countdown...

Alright so, I'm feeling relieved and tensed at the same time. Probably everyone feels that when they finally get through an exam, and then realize they have another HUGE one the next day. I'm feeling a bit more relieved because apparently the karaoke machine that records the ENGLISH 20IB ORAL COMMENTARY EXAM broke midway today... lame huh? Talking for 10 minutes on a karoke machine as an Exam, which is superrr hard! Hopefully it stays broken so I don't have to take the exam tommorow and be all happy and relieved. Until then, STUDY!!!...

... and hope the machine's still broken XD.

P.S. I've set up a countdown timer in the side bar ---->
to countdown the months/days/etc. until the release of Pendragon Book 10: Soldiers of Halla, which is set to release in May 12, 2009. This final book of the series Pendragon is gonna be the most INTENSE. Read the other 9 books first to join the intensity.

2 Exams Down, Alot more left...

What relief it was when I came out of two exams actually feeling confident. I got to school a few hours before my first exam and left for home A LOT of hours after my second exam. Hanging with friends, nerding at the library and discussing the flaws of IB. Every new flaw discussed pushed me further away from "staying in IB". But that's after... let's talk before and during.
Before the first exam (Physics 20) friends and I basically tried to study but we made up random words/phrases from equations so we could remember more easily during the Exam. We made a random joke that actually helped us memorize the equation for "frequency":

What happens when you get stabbed by 1 over T?

It "hertz"

Only us IB kids would enjoy such jokes, but it was relieving to laugh and be calm compared to the cramming some people were doing then....I wrote the Exam.... I was greeted by my friend as soon as I got out the exam room. I knew the question he would eventually ask :"How'd you do?"... My new universal answer: "I KNOW I got a 100... minus a few percent". We laughed it up and prepared for the English Exam.... Wrote it with confidence..... and as I left, I met friends and we decided to play a prank on our friends who were yet to finish. We asked how they did on Question 3 and 4 Written (There was no 3 and 4 written, that was the prank). The reactions were priceless, but we spilled the truth as soon as we thought they had enough.

Lol, we're so mean, but it's the relief that comes after the prank that really counts. Then we spent a lot of hours in the library (nerding it out, talking about choir (which I'm in) and critisizing models in magazines. XD). Then I took the pleasant bus ride home and I wrote this. Exciting huh?

P.S. Chemistry 20 Lab Exam Tommorow, plus making progress on the Group 4 project...

Sometimes...

Sometimes it seems the world revolves in a rythm,
Where we see light after we;ve spent our thoughts in our chasm.
And to let one thing end to let something else begin,
But scarcely is it letting something begin just to witness one thing's end...

And btw, these are just random thoughts that come up when I try to make poems/raps. Lol I'm not emo, I'm brown.

Apparently...

Apparently, I'm being called smart...
By more than just friends who tease me by just calling me "smart".
We laugh and we joke around by throwing around the title of "Genius".
Sometimes that title that I "throw" to certain people aren't jokes,
But they're actual honest titles, awards even.
What we do is deny those awards just so we can award someone more worthy,
(They give it to me at certain times, but I deny it and give it to someone more worthy,
because I know, and they should know, that I am not "smart"... nor "Genius".)
Apparently, this title is being awarded more frequently to me,
Which angers me because I truly know I do not deserve such a praise.
Basically I'm saying I'm not smart...
Because when accounting for all the stupid mistakes I've commited...
I'm an idiot... but this fact doesn't bruise me.
I accept it, happily and jokingly.
I feel brighter being an idiot rather than "smart",
But it's just to prove the point that "If you want to call someone smart;
And yes I'm talking to you,
You that calls me smart. Instead of lying and calling me smart,
call yourself it, because it is YOU who truly deserves such a title."
If you want to praise me, praise me with something else...
But don't praise me with a ttle that clearly belongs to you. =)

Dude! Exams!

Dude, Exams consecutively lined up, mostly two by two a day. What an intense couple of weeks this is going to be. Plus that IB group project I whined about earlier, which is looking slightly more positive now since I've had more time to think about it. Still, that's only a small flicker of light and hope compared to the intensities of Exams coming up...

Torture List:
Physics 20 Exam
English 20-1 Exam
Chemistry Lab Exam
ENGLISH 20 IB ORAL COMMENTARY EXAM!!! (Just saying it sounds horrifying)
Math 30 Diploma (100%, made many bets with people XD)
Chemistry 20 Exam
Group 4 (IB Group) Project (slight hope, still horrifying)

As the exams conclude, all the 20 courses become 30, and 30 to 31 (for math)... but you knew that. =)
P.S. Having a life when you're in IB is a hilarious joke!

Friends

I always thought friends were always just... there,
Once strangers who I believed could be underestimated.
Yet now I understand the truth of that fallacious theory...
That there is absolutely no truth in it at all.
Because to think such thoughts about such individuals who have become a foundation of me,
And in a way, have become another family
Who I can run to, sometimes before my actual family comes in mind.
To know that they believe and choose to do the same thing,
To run to us friends, and sometimes specifically to me.
That is true infinite estimation that I have definetly underlooked,
Because as family is looked upon, the bonds cannot be measured.
To know that they will catch me when I'm running to no where,
And to know that they are my safety net when I'm falling from the cliffs of my thoughts.
To know they provide the answers to my happiness,
And to know that they provide the right when I am wrong.
To know that some of them will read this,
And realize that it is them I praise.
And to let them know that I've learned not to under-estimate them,
Because progressively, I have learned "To know" them.
And to realize that they are not merely "there"...
But rather "here", where I've had them all along.

School Momentum -Stop Whining

I woke up in the morning, feeling surprisingly at the top of my game, or physical and mental health. I never felt so ready to wake up and get moving ever before...well except when it's holidays, but today was a school day... Yeah, this is a rant about school, but not necessarily about marks and all the regular low percentage whines that I've become accustomed to hearing and witnessing. As a matter a fact, I actually recieved an amazing mark in my math exam and report card which I thought then that nothing could ruin that moment the whole day. Obviously this rant shows the success in that assumption... which I thought then was a law, and at worst a theory. I also did surprisingly well in English class by actually (finally) understanding concepts which were a complete mystery to me. Lunch was tasty and a really (really) great time, filled with laughter and maybe even some talent presentation... not official, but just friendly. Physics and Chemistry were FULL of slack and hilarity. I gave myself then the right to believe nothing could ruin this perfect day. But then school ended, and the tortures of school that I had believed had disappeared... had reappeared, ironically when school ended.

I'm part of the International Baccaulerate (I guarantee I spelt that wrong) program, which demands a high work ethic and a lot of "smartness". At the end of the school day, I had to attend a IB meeting that explained a HUGE IB group project. We created our groups, at first I thought I was set when I realized our group rocked! Had everything thought of and figured out about every aspect of this project. But then school's momentum shot back at me, and I got pulled out of my Awesome (Genius) group and got thrown into a ....laughable... group. I sound really shallow at this moment, but don't get me wrong. It's not a complete loss of hope, but I sure whined and acted that way as soon as the meeting was over. Friends supported me and tried to cheer me up, and for that I always owe my life to them, but I refused to leave my shallow and childishly whiny thoughts. I've realized NOW; as I sit calmly with my thoughts conducting uniformly again, that as long as there's a possibility (success in this case), I will somehow definetly strive and reach it. I know I sound really in over my head and possibly even philosophical, but I realize that if I continue to whine I'll become similarily like those who whine for those small percents around me... thus angering more people than only myself. This is a definite momentum that I will not pass on.

Sometimes...

Sometimes I wish I could just stop lying to you...
And let the world know that I finally told the truth...

Shine

What do we do when we don't even know,
When we clearly see yet we don't know where to go.
When we see what's ahead we think that we try,
Yet we feel it as life just passing us by.
So when we think that we want
And have all we need.
To be viewing success
While we don't succeed.
Are we the Gold that we dig with our blood,
Shining inside while lost deep in the mud.

To come out freely when someone catches us,
'Cause we fear to know it's ourselves we should trust.
So we finally emerge and we see the light,
Yet we're still not free from the grip that's too tight.

This is the cause of the questions we ask
To ourselves as we should uncover our mask.
To know you and I are never helpless,
'Cause we give ourselves the power that we all posses.

(Shine)We finally figure out what we want to profess...

Swinging away as we keep our eyes on the time.
Crossing - the border with ease 'cause we can't find the line.
Just to see that we've bled and we can't find the truth,
Yet I've had it all along since I've always had you.

(Shine) We finally figure out what we want to profess...

...So I reach the waters at end, and for a moment my trip stops...
But my destination is you, so I step on the surface and start walking on the top.
Walking for stars on end over the ocean's blue,
And I'll never stop until I reach the Shine in you...

'Cause I'm lost in this gold mine,
Still dark as the gold shines.
Yet I see the shine at the end,
To find that I've risen.

Risen to see that I move towards her,
Her shine becomes clear, never was it a blur.

Shine (We finally figure out what we want to profess)

Momentum

What is this momentum I keep using as a metaphor? Rather, what is it for? Well, it obviously isn't a good thing...to me rather. To simplify what I mean, I'll compare my meaning to something more relatable. Here it goes:
I am like a runaway car of lies and bad luck, with no brakes ever installed or hills ahead to slow me down. I can only stop when I hit something, rather someone. I will finally become stationary, and be able to live peacefully with a firm stance rather than running nonstop. But there is a problem, I only become stationary when I have completed passing on my momentum. The momentum of lies and bad luck, some could even say failure. Well then, what's there to lose besides all the bad qualities I posses? Obviously you havn't considered my perspective, which I have come to understand as a wiser part of me. I've realized that my momentum could cause the happy and successful qualities of the person I hit to becomes lost, thus carrying my momentum of lies, bad luck, and failure. So what? I'm free then right? Well, not quite. Momentum is a game, it doesn't want a loss of "players", so some universal casualty will bring forth a new burdening momentum to me as I pass on my "old" one. This momentum has already struck me before it has even begun it's preparation for me. This new burden is called guilt. I pass on my momentum of lies and etc. to someone so I can stop, but then my mind races with the guilt of my selfish ways to lest it be anything but stationary.
I want none of it, but I have to live with one of it to save all of them. This may not be a defiance of momentum, but I've voluteered to play its game against its intentions... and the only way it can stop me is if it steps up in my runaway path, and let me pass on my momentum of lies, bad luck, failure, etc. and wisdom. Until then, I steer my runaway car away from everyone, dodging traffic set up by the game, until the game forces the stop... of me and the game itself.